With so many poems on love, romance books and Hollywood’s fairytales, how does one define love? I am currently compiling a book of poems and short stories on love, but would like it if you can participate in that test I have created. The answers below are my own, which I have made into a one line poem (or close). Pick one that is more to your liking. Is it selfish, hurtful, dreamy, blinded, or confused with desire? Or make up our own.
No matter how strong a bond is between two people, we have seen as in my previous post that love often leads to jealousy.
Sometimes jealousy may either lead to betrayal by the person being jealous, or drive the other person to cheat. In either case, when betrayal walks through the door and poor love is sitting on the couch unattended, most people react.
Is revenge the best approach to our hurt feelings and ego?
Based on my poll on wordpress, most people would rather seek revenge. Let us take a look at how this is beneficial or destructive.
Betrayal is viewed differently by many people; those who betray and those who are being betrayed.
Surely the one who betrays has no other worries or concern but guilt to answer to, where as the one being betrayed has a set of emotions to deal with and the contemplation of revenge in some cases.
I think people feel betrayed when trust is broken, a secret has been spilled, a hidden act has been performed or simply when there is a conscious and deliberate abandon of what was held and esteemed as valuable.
Some people however feel betrayed by their own emotions as well when they expect too much, when they foresee a certain course of action, when they base future actions on an idea they make of the other person, and many more along these lines.
No matter the act however, when a person feels betrayed there are usually two main choices to make; forgive or seek revenge.
Based on a poll question on betrayal, most people adopt the course of revenge.
If carefully plotted and designed over some time then revenge may work leaving but a satisfaction of accomplishment.
And yet that same act calls for a revenge unless it is seen as anonymous which would be the best case possible.
Mostly however revenge backfires on the person seeking revenge who is now left with the betrayal of the other as well as the betrayal of the self.
I suppose the best way to seek revenge is to expose the true colors of the person and not by trying to pay them with the same crime or a similar one thus becoming like them in the end.
Of course forgiveness would be the best approach but then again based on the gravity of the offense some action may need to be taken in exposing the face of such a horrid act not in revenge but in truth.
At the end of the day we make our choices and we live by them paying the
consequences of our own actions and reactions.
To avenge oneself or not is clearly up to you.
Jealousy is an ugly yellow monster with hands trying to grab onto whatever they can find. I say yellow, not green, for the way I see it, green is a color of life; look at the trees, the green grass. Yellow is the color of faded leaves, dying leaves, and so not so alive anymore, like jealousy in love.
Falling in love with someone you like may be easy, once you’ve opened up and let down your walls. But love doesn’t stop there. Sadly, most of us fall victim to jealousy, for our own insecurities blind us from seeing the reason the person chose to be with us in the first place.
There are 2 kinds of Jealousy.
Jealousy based on plausible grounds and evidence, and random jealousy.
Our senses play a strong role in directing our emotions. What we hear, see and smell can be interpreted in many ways, but some things remain as pure facts. In these circumstances, when facts are present, jealousy is rightfully in its place. The signs and manifestations that drive jealousy could be many, but here are a few.
You are being ignored for no reason.
You are no longer being given the attention you got before.
Your partner is always busy on his phone or PC.
You are not being desired as often anymore.
Your partner purposely flirts with others in front of you.
You are being manipulated by a third party called Envy.
But what if these dreadful red signs are not present to raise jealousy’s awareness to an extreme level?
Most of us need to be reminded we are loved, wanted, desired, and are beautiful or charming. Your partner has the strongest effect in reminding you, because of the feelings you hold for him/her.
But the more insecure we are, the more proof we seek, sabotaging in the process what could be a healthy relationship.
So why do we get jealous, when we already have the person we love right before us?
Factor #1: We define being with someone as a possession, like owning a car. My car, My woman, we say.
It goes beyond protecting to isolating that which we hold.
Other factors that may come into play to ignite our jealousy include:
When we fear the person will betray us, we are constantly on the lookout.
When we feel we do not deserve to be loved, we are scared the person we are with will realize it too.
When we have betrayed everyone else in our past, we fear our turn might have come.
When we do not trust the person enough, we are constantly on the edge.
When we are changing to please our partner, we are rarely ourselves and so are always in fear.
When we have never been loved, nor believe in love, we are skeptical in our position.
When we second guess ourselves and our abilities and compare them to others, we become insecure thinking our partner may leave us for someone better.
When we are not comfortable in our skin, we are not confident enough to be with ourselves, let alone someone else.
When we become too selfish in fear of losing the union we have with someone, of having it shift and change, we also become insecure and fearful.
The list goes on.
Jealousy is a mental issue, I believe, that is related to the way we see ourselves, others, and the way we view love.
Our self confidence sways at times, and as human beings, we need reassurance in words or deeds. But no matter our self esteem, there are always other factors to consider when thinking of jealousy; our experiences, our views, our beliefs, our fears, doubts and so on.
And when being driven by emotions such as fear, doubt and guilt, jealousy may develop into a very ugly monster indeed that will consume love, the other person and ourselves.
That is not to say we should rest on our laurels, for to take a person for granted is not only to refrain oneself from feeling jealousy, but is also to stop looking at the person with eyes of discovery, thus refraining love from growing.
And whoever is not at all jealous, either thinks himself a god or is incapable of closeness.
In short, jealousy is not a sole traveler, it often has companions. Emotions are all entangled, it is up to us to direct our focus on one set or another.
Now, I ask, why do you think you may get jealous? What drives your jealousy?